I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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