we have pet lesbian snakes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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