farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
did i walk over a car last night?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
