I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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