What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
