Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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