you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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