Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
