a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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