Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
