gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Screwed.edu
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
