We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
