that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
