i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
