Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Im part way to drunk.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
