I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
