he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
