I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
This toilet bowl is my home.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
