youre lurking in front of me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
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