he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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