Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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