Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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