This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
