thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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