so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
