I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
