The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you still have your period?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
