I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
