At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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