is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
