Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
