i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize