Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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