Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
