I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
