dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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