Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
