Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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