I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
