just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
