the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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