K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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