we have pet lesbian snakes
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
