we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
