Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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