Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize