if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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