Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
