Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
