i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize