I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
