I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
