dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
