Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
