I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
