He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize