She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I will be naked everywhere
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
