It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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