Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
