Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
