I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Of course I have a pirate flag
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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