There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
