Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Randomize