he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
