i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize