so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
