i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
