some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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