all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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