I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
